Going on a date can be exciting, scary, nerve racking, potentially very sweaty, and lots of fun. But whether you’re just looking to meet up for a couple of hours and have a drink, or whether you’re going to a fancy restaurant out of town, it’s important to remember that your safety is paramount.
Most people think that going on a date is completely safe, and nothing can go wrong. However, things can go wrong and understanding the risks you are putting yourself through will make a huge difference.
Should the worst happen and you find yourself in an uncomfortable position or even danger, you need to know what to do and who to contact. If you take steps beforehand, then you will be eternally grateful should you need to make a quick exit or shout for help.
Here is our guide on how to keep safe on a date:
Meet in a public place
Make sure you arrange to meet in a public place that has plenty of people. A good example of this may be a pub or bar that you’re familiar with, and you know that it will be fairly busy at the time you’re meeting up. It’s even more important to have been to the venue before, so you are comfortable with your surroundings.
You could even consider asking one or two friends to be in the pub at the same time, so there will be someone you know within easy reach. It might be a good idea to ask them to sit in a corner out of the way, so you don’t scare off your date. But make sure you can keep eye contact with your friends and that they can be called upon quickly.
If you are meeting with a complete stranger, then you may want to consider letting them know from the start that some of your friends are in the pub. You don’t necessarily need to point them out, but by dropping it into the conversation you are instantly letting them know right from the start that you’re not on your own.
Use your own means of transportation
How many times have we seen in the movies when someone says, ‘Pick you up at eight?’
Well this may be OK if you are familiar with that person and you are 100% happy that you’ll be safe. But if it’s a complete stranger, or even someone you don’t know that well, you should make your own way to the date.
Whether you drive yourself, get a lift from a parent or friend, or whether you take the bus, you should get there by yourself and also have a plan to get back on your own. If the date doesn’t go very well then you don’t want to be left in the position of having to get a lift back with them at the end of the night.
Don’t drink too much
The more alcohol you drink, the more you let go of your inhabitations and you may end up agreeing to something you wouldn’t normally do when sober. The date might ask you to go back to their house, or may want to take you somewhere else, and you need to be sober enough to know exactly what you’re doing and if you want to partake or not.
You must also make sure you keep all your drinks right next to you and within your sight at all times. If you’re in a restaurant and you need to go to the toilet, then you should easily be able to keep your drink right over on your side of the table. If however you are in a pub or bar, then you need to consider going to the toilet between drinks.
Finally, if your date is fetching and buying the drinks then it’s important to either go with them to the bar or make sure you can see exactly what they’re doing. It’s fine in a restaurant when the waiter is bringing the drinks, but anywhere else you need to keep vigilant.
Overall, just make sure you keep your drinking down to a minimum, and save the crazy night outs for another time when you have gotten to know your date better. Keep the night relaxed and sensible, and above all – safe!
Have a backup
If you are not able to have friends nearby, then consider having someone check up on you by phone or text now and again during the date.
You don’t want to annoy your date by constantly playing around with your phone, so you may want to consider texting a friend when you nip to the loo or go to the bar for a drink. There should be plenty of opportunity to can contact someone without being rude to your date, and making them feel unwanted.
Make sure you tell your friend beforehand so they are expecting you to contact them. You might want to arrange a call or text every 60-90 minutes, and maybe ask them to call you if you are taking longer than expected.
It’s vital that you also tell your friend exactly what time and where you’re going in case of an emergency. However, don’t forget to contact your friend at the agreed time, otherwise you may find them showing up at your date looking rather annoyed that you forgot.
Use social networking
Facebook or twitter is a fantastic way of getting to know someone before you actually meet in person. So if you get the chance to hook up through the internet, then don’t hesitate to take advantage as it will be a great way to learn more about them.
It might seem like you’re stalking them, but don’t hesitate to read some of their status updates and look through their pictures. If you can see hundreds of pictures taken with their friends and family, then you should be more confident that it’s a real account and hasn’t just been created to lure people. You can also see how far their status updates go back, and whether they’ve just joined or have had this profile for years.
Social networking can also be used to see how many friends they’ve got, and more importantly, if they happen to be friends with anyone you know. If they are, then you can contact your friend and ask them if they know anything about them. A referral from a friend would make things much easier, and gives you a better chance of staying safe.
Don’t give out personal details
Try to be careful what you tell your date, and make sure you don’t give out too much personal information. Even though you’ll be talking about yourself during the date, it’s important to remember how much information you need to give out. Your date shouldn’t be interested in any specific details, and should be content with normal every day conversation.
Try to look out for any probing questions coming from your date, and see how much detail they are trying to extract from you. No one needs to know your exact address, date of birth, or anything else that’s extremely personal – so don’t give it out!
Trust your instincts
More and more people are meeting complete strangers online and going out on dates, and if you have any doubts whatsoever that something could go wrong, then you might want to reconsider.
Don’t be too trusting of someone you’ve just met, no matter how nice they may seem. Keeping safe is not just about planning ahead but also trusting your own instincts and judgement. If at any point you just don’t feel safe, or if something just doesn’t quite add up, then make a quick exit and don’t worry about the consequences.
If your date is truly the person for you then they should understand how you feel, and should also be doing everything they can to make you feel happy and comfortable.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how much of our advice you take and follow, and how many plans you put in place to keep yourself safe from harm; if you still have a bad feeling about someone then just don’t do it!
